Automatic Thoughts & Corresponding Actions

A key tenant in cognitive behavioural therapy appears to be arresting the automating process between an event which triggers an automatic thought with the following behaviour.

The way it does this, as I've written before, is;

TRIGGER EVENT (.e.g my wife is quiet in the car)
|
AUTOMATIC THOUGHT (I've done something wrong)
|
IMMEDIATE FEELING (Alarm, panic, fear, guilt, trapped)
|
PHYSICAL IMPACT (insides twist, pensive, defensive)
|
RESULTING BEHAVIOUR (Go on the defensive, or loop above)

CBT allows you to realise that we feel the way we do because of the automatic thought - NOT because of the trigger. So if we can break the power of the automatic thought we won't feel the same feelings etc.

Key questions to ask include;

What evidence do I have that I am right?
What evidence do I have that I am wrong?
How may someone else see it?
Do I now have an alternative way of seeing this?
If not - what makes me so special?
What more balanced thought do I end up with?

This simple process, which does require that someone is able to actually know what they are feeling (which itself may require some work), is very effective.

I felt extremely trapped by being with my wife. If I was in the car, in the house, she asked if I wanted to go for a walk, or do something, or go somewhere, or indeed started talking to me, I would panic. My automatic thought would go along the lines "I'm wrong, I'm not allowed to get this wrong, I've got it wrong". This would lead, ultimately, to a sense of being trapped - for there was no way out. I then thought my wife was trapping me -whereas all along it was me.

Five or so weeks later and there has been a big change. For by challenging these thoughts has meant a huge difference... There's still work to do, further enforcing, as well as moving further into my life (trigger situations) and challenging other automatic thoughts..

I can't believe how simple and yet effective it is..

And as I work through this maybe I can apply it to my future too - I.e. not being afraid of repeating the mistakes of the past..