The truth of therapy

Working through crap. Wading through crap. Exhausted through crap. Crap on crap.

Energy levels are almost non existent. Don't have the motivation to do anything which takes energy. See a live TopGear show, decorate, tile, stain wood... I want it easy.

My wife's therapist explains that that's a by product of therapy. You are so focussed on dealing with painful things that the body almost shuts down to protect itself whilst the emotional/psyche side are in regeneration.

Why do therapy then? would be an obvious question.

Primarily because it's the search of truth. The narrow road. The way to the Father. The way to real and lasting relationships. Honesty. Openness. Genuine. Caring. Empathy. All the things that Jesus was so good at, and I've been so crap at.

Truth. You will know truth on the inwards parts. I am truth - by me you get to the Father. Where the Spirit is there is truth. Truth - sharp as a two edged sword. Cutting as a laser. If you open yourself up to truth then truth will in. Much as light will dispell darkness. So truth dispells lies. Deception. 'That which is hidden will be proclaimed from the roof tops'. That's what truth does. It makes it visible.

And that's what therapy is. It brings light into darkness. But boy does it hurt. When you believe one thing and have built your life on it, to realise that it's not so is painful. So very painful. Disorientating. The realisation that so much of what I've built my life on is sand. I thought it was solid, but it is in fact shifting.

To realise this is painful - especially when I am about to turn forty. But how painful would it be to stand before God and have this revelation after I'd died? Knowing that I'd lived my whole life on a bed of fabrication. Defences against past hurts which limited my development? Believing those around me were like the monsters I experienced in childhood.

No. I'd much rather deal with the reality of life in the now moment - than live with rose coloured glasses not daring to probe beneath the surface. Not knowing why I react so strongly to others when they probe my defences.

How ever much truth hurts, I'd rather know it than hide from it. So if truth is painful, then I must surely get on with it? Not flinch in the face of it but welcome it as a faithful friend.