Relief!

Incredibly for the last three days or so I have felt amost normal again! The deep asuaging crap has subsided somewhat, I've been able to drink coffee for the first time in years and years and not feel funny.

Mind this morning I feel a little rough - as I must have had 3/4 of a bottle of nice wine with the curry I had with my mate Chris. Still - that's to be expected.

Yesterday I even spent three or so hours laying down loft insulation (1/3 done) - which I a) would not have had the motivation for before, and b) nor the energy.

I know there's still lots of things to work through. My youngest daughter returned from being away for the last 4 days or so and immediately I felt grumpy towards her. Why? Is it because she presses 'dad' buttons, or is it because she can be a self focussed mare? Everything is hard work with her, from asking her to get ready for bed, do chores, not do something. She wants to wrap herself around us, won't let my wife or I have a hug on our own (I've stopped that now) etc.

But. That aside, it's nice to not be so weighed down by working through crushing feelings.