Duty and my sister, duty and my mate

So, my sister is staying with me. My best friend is moving house. That's two big reasons to need to help.

Firstly my sister. She's the fourth (out of five children) in the family. She was badly wounded and lost everything including her partner and best friend in the Tsunami in Thailand. We've done a lot to help her - and she currently lives in Israel. She's over here for a couple of months whilst she sorts her storage which I helped her pack from when she was living in Germany and placed in storage here where I live.

Only she's wrecked. She has the same symptoms I had at my most knackered, but much worse. Some days she can barely move, is totally wasted, suffers with IBS, can hardly eat anything. She's as skinny as a rake. On top of that she's very fragile, and pushes my buttons. We can get on ok, but right now it's too close for me. So I end up trying to avoid her whilst being available when she needs lifts down to storage, needs me to move boxes (all the time whilst I feel like I'm trading on egg shells). She's very sensitive. Prickly. And at the same time, I'm sensitive to her.

So I "have" to be available to her when she needs me. Thank God for my wife.

Last night my sister said could we go early to the storage? Sure says I and am ready for around 11am. It's now 1pm and we still have not gone. I told my mate that I would help hom this afternoon - fitting him round my sister.

So now I feel grumpy. Annoyed. Don't really want to help my sister but feel duty bound (who else can? - no one in Derby).

Secondly my mate. I helped him Thursday, Friday, half of Saturday and three hours Sunday. On top of that I helped him before that sort his garage out. No problems so far - and I don't mind. I feel for him. He's the one who got into financial difficulty and needed to sell his house quickly. He moved this weekend - and what an interesting episode that was!

First of all the interplay between him and his wife. Oh my. Do they need couple therapy! Made me quadrupally thankful for my wife.

Secondly, how badly organised! Moving day and almost nothing was packed. Result - long days, stressed parents, kids awol.

Thirdly - they are moving from a large 4/5 bed detached into a small three bed semi (renting). The house they are moving into is not ready (upstairs being plastered etc.). So they have had to fit all of their belongings into the ground floor.

Fourthly - there is no room to sleep, so they've had to hire a holiday "cottage" 3 miles up the road for at least a week until upstairs is finished and they can start to put beds and wardrobes together.

Fifthly - my mate was more concerned with his ponds and moving his fish than anything else. Though I couldn't live with his wife (nice though she is) neither could I live with him. There is his wife is humping things from the old to the new house, and he is arranging a tank for the outside fish, trying to catch fish, moving fish, filling up tank etc. Could this not have been done a week later? Is not getting everything out of the house a priority? And similarly trying to get the new house sorted?

Still - I realise I am a rescuer, a fixer, and want to help. So I find it difficult to stand idly by when someone else is struggling - whomever they be.

I've got pain of my own, which I find hard to review and process. I play on the PS3, go on the laptop checking football etc rather than spend time on my own looking at me and how I feel. Cos it feels crap..