A brave move - an email to my dad

Dad,

Thanks for the dvd [on stress as per previous posting]- though to be honest I'm not entirely sure why you sent it. I'm assuming you think I'm really stressed, and as a mark of your concern and care you sent this to me? In which case thanks for caring, and to just put your mind at rest, I'm really pretty chilled and relaxed :) I'm sure with John Cleese in it contains humour too - but I can't promise when I will watch it..

Thanks,

Mark

--

Mark

Therein lies the problem and hopefully an answer.

Having discussed our present non-relationship with many the most hopeful and desirable possibility suggested was that :

'you were probably overworked and very stressed out

and that this was probably why you were avoiding what I and they considered normal relationships father-son relationships.'

So yes,

it is because I love you, never mind care for you,

and thought you might be stressed out

that I sent you a DVD on Stress hoping it might help you.

Love Dad

--

Dad - I love you. I really do.

But to answer your question..

I've tried talking to you over the years about the things which cause a barrier in our relationship, but each time I've tried you either felt utterly dejected/rejected and/or incredibly angry and sometimes outright aggressive. The bottom line is, it's not been possible. The end result is deep pain - and it's not something I want to repeat. Despite what you may think, I along with you deeply grieve the fact that we do not have a true father son relationship.

Mark



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So - let's see if dad can handle that. I very much doubt he can, it will cause him rejection, hurt and pain. Then he won't know what to do with it - and will probably try calling me. I'm busy this weekend - so won't answer. Neither have I sent him anything for father's day - which I detest. And just for the record - I'm not expecting anything from my girls either..


Meanwhile - I will shore up my defences..