And the company - can I turn it around?

So - amid everything there is of course the company. Two months to year end, and we're making a healthy loss. I had sincerely hoped to have turned the corner by now. I calculated I've invested over £500,000 this year alone in trying to grow it to the next level, and although I believe it's coming (I'm an optimist) it hasn't yet. I reckon that without trying to capitalise various development work which I doubt will come off we could be as much as £270k loss. Even if I allow for paying myself in dividends from last year's profits, I still make a sizeable loss :( That will be a first for the company in over 10 years.

So why have I invested so much? Why have I taken on senior managers, invested in new systems, new consultants, marketing - because I'm not happy with a £2m company - that's why. I want a £5m company. The big question is will I get there.

Each month I hope for better, and yet am dashed. Another loss. So - can I do it? Can I turn it around. Do I have the skills, the management know how, the understanding to make next year a bumper year (which I need regardless of whether I sell it or not!). It involves making tough decisions, standing by your gut (don't change direction in a storm), and belief. Trust too - trust that the guys I've taken on will take the company onto the next level. So, trust, belief, and uncertainty.

I guess only time will tell if I can. If I do - it will be a huge confidence boost as I will have learnt not only how to start a successful business, but also how to grow it to the next stage by putting in place a strong management team. I will feel enormously proud of that achievement, and feel that I can take confidence in myself - that I can make the right calls and see something through to completion. If I fail now, I will know what I always knew - namely that I can start things but not keep them going.

So, taking bets - what do you reckon?