Bad cash flow forecast - pressure!

Took 20 minutes to pray/talk to God last night. I needed to. Slept for around 6-7 hours, and then sat in traffic this morning for 30 minutes, meaning another 30 minutes with God.

'God help me' was my cry. I'm lost, can't do it, it's too difficult, but with you all things are possible.

Working on the financial forecasts for bank meeting tomorrow. We were showing £250k cash down by Dec, and getting worse before it got better. So sat down with my finance lady, put down very honest sales figures, spotted a couple of errors, and now instead of going down by £250k in December, provided the figures are right it will mean only being down £35k by end of March. That's altogether more manageable. The figures for next financial year still go to £150k overdraft/cash negative but again that's manageable.

So.. phew. I've got options again. Suddenly the bank manager meeting tomorrow isn't as key. I'm back in some form of control again :)

One of the other options is to create a new company and transfer a new product we've been working on which has taken over 300 man days to develop so far. It means we can transfer (sell asset), subject to the new company having the cash in form of a bank/government loan, £150k say into the company. That will mean we have enough cash to last, without requiring an overdraft. And as I said yesterday, an overdraft may cause complications in terms our house mortgage, and (more) freedom for my wife to do what she wants.

With the cash sale of the product to the new company, it also means that my current company would move into break even (after 6 months). The current forecast is that we will still lose another £110k by the end of the year based on the pragmatic sales figures we've used. But, as I knew this year would be a development year - if we come out with a strong management team, stronger internal systems and a stronger sales team we will be well positioned for next year.

So. A relief. A real relief. Thank you Lord.

But, because I've now had a fairly stressful three days at work (losing our first and one of our biggest customers Friday, finding out about a number of major service (client) issues on Monday and receiving the management accounts which showed a further loss in Oct with a very black forecast in terms of cash flow), and arriving home to my wife working through some of her stuff which when directed at me always feels like a twisting knife in my insides.. it's been tough with no outlet. I've not been able to talk to my wife about any of the company stuff, neither have I been able to communicate any of the feelings/stress/pressure I've been under. Instead I've had to take her issues on the chin.. further adding to my internal full up ness.

So this morning I was (whilst in the car) thinking through whom is now in my support network. My wife obviously is top of the list, but when she's working through her own stuff it means she is not available. My therapist is available once a week - which though really surprising is really making a big difference. I am currently building a new friendship with Chris who has similar background - which is working out well. I see him once every week or two, but although we've shared some quite deep stuff it's still early days. Then there is a lady (business coach) who I've got to know through work. She is very supportive (mutual), but I have to watch this relationship due to make/female thing. I've talked to her about the Lord which has resulted in her finding God. She's challenged me on my drive, and encouraged me with the therapist. So it's actually a really good relationship, but she did say that to start with there was an issue for her reference attractiveness. Although I'm not attracted to her in that way, she backed off for a couple of months.

And that's it. So I want to increase my support network (friendships), but this takes time. I'm pleased about Chris.

So.

Some tough stuff going on, but the toughest is the internal stuff. My history hurting me now until I've worked through it, plus my wife's stuff which frankly adds to my internal stuff (my issue not hers). But, God is good, I chose to believe that He is going to help me so that the end result brings glory to Him.