May already! -- Fruit, Treasure & Wisdom.

Can't believe it's May already. The sun is shining, skies are blue, feels like summer, birds signing, and God is good!

So - what's happened in the last month? God has been good.

1. I'm changing!

I've realised that over the last 11 months that God has been on my case (do not despise the Lord's chastening), and that He has been doing a work in my heart, resulting in fruit - which is what I am most excited about.

A month or so ago I was really challenged as to whether all the stuff God was showing me, and the stuff my wife was challenging me on, and the stuff I was seeing.. whether there was any real change (fruit of repentance). Oh I was upset. I could see the fruit of my ego filled actions. But was there the fruit, the resulting change in actions, true repentance.

Was I beginning to lay down my life for my wife, focus on godly treasure, get the life balance right. And I think I'm seeing the first fruits of the change. I'm not there, but I can see the first snowdrops of spring. Plenty more room for growth however..

2. Treasure

Where you heart is, there will be your treasure. I was really challenged on this last summer, and again recently. Prov 3:5 says "trust the Lord with all you heart". What does all your heart mean? Key words for me are "heart" and "all".

Heart is where your treasure is - what you hold dear, protect, nourish, spend time on, cherish.

All is everything. The whole.

I realised that I claim that my wife, girls and God are my treasure. But what I spent my time nourishing, guarding, protecting, admiring was what I believed I was called to do (church or business). So I was deluding myself. And here again things have begun to change.

I've changed my working week (Friday's off and work from home Wednesdays) in order to a) have more balance, and b) to treasure my treasure (my wife) and c) be available for my family (more treasure). And I think it's working. And I'm happy about that!

Of course, I have so far to go, as just because I'm at home does not mean proactive treasuring of my treasure - but that's the daily battle.

3. Wisdom

I love Proverbs chapters 1-3. Wisdom calls outside, in the open places.. the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Fear the Lord and depart from evil. Life, faith, wisdom.

I think I'm seeing something I've not seen before. Firstly fear of the Lord. The saviour of our souls. The one who has the power to throw us into eternal damnation. The one who will judge the living and the dead. The one who will burn our life's work to see what remains. The one who is worthy to open the scroll, the Book of Life. The one who guards our souls, the one who redeems, restores, forgives, is merciful, gracious, abounding in life and truth. The one who slew Ananias and Sapphira. The one who caused the whole of Israel to die in one generation in the wilderness. The one whom caused the mountain to shake (Moses), the one from whom people will cry for the rocks to fall on them on the day of his return. Fear of the Lord. The one, and only one, to whom I am wholly, truly, accountable.

Every time I sin, do something based on human pride, ego filled, it's not from faith, does not please the Lord. In those moments I forget the Lord, not fear the Lord. It is more comfortable to me to delight my soul in world stuff, rather than keeping mercy and truth bound around my neck, his law written on the tablet of my heart, meditating on his word day and night, acting in faith towards a loving, gracious faithful Father.

And that's a sobering thought. Fear the Lord, and depart from evil. That's what I've got to work on, through His grace. Departing from evil. Becoming more like Him. Taking wilful decisions not to watch wrong stuff on TV, to go to bed at a disciplined hour, to be proactive in my relationship with my wife, girls. Not taking the easy route. Not bowing to the lusts of the flesh, the desires of the mind, the whims of my ego. Departing from what I know to be wrong, so that the Lord can lead me on the paths of holiness - "be holy even as I am holy", living a "life worthy of our calling".

Proverbs 3:5-8

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.

Oh yes Lord. Help me in my failing weakness to remain in You, the saviour and hope of my soul.

Summary:

The Lord is good. I can trust Him for the big things I have no control over. In the meantime by earnestly desiring wisdom, looking for wisdom, persuing God, I will continue to change from one degree of glory to another, resulting in real treasure and fruit.

Hallelujah!